


lonely like me.

by reinwrites



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Parties, Rebounds, Regrets, Second Chances, a little bit of angst with a happy ending :), i suck at tagging as per normal, renjun apart of sober squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinwrites/pseuds/reinwrites
Summary: Donghyuck's parties are always a time of self-reflection for Renjun. When he spots his ex-rebound, Lee Jeno, he can't help but thinking about what he could've done while he still had him.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Kudos: 53





	lonely like me.

If Donghyuck’s parties could be summed up with a word, it’d be chaotic. Renjun would be there for only five minutes and already half of the people there were drunk. As he sat in a sea of intoxicated people, he took a small, insecure sip of his lemonade from the red solo cup. The song changed every couple of minutes which made him grow more and more tired of the stupid party. He could only judge those around him for so long and the upstairs living room above the party was looking like a solid option at that moment. 

As he pushed himself up from the plastic lawn chair, he was pushed back down by an unfamiliar palm. A high pitched giggle squeaked within his ear and he knew. “Rennie! It’s good to see you finally drinking for once!” Donghyuck had practically wrapped his lanky arms around his neck. 

“I’m not drinki-” He was cut off by a kiss to his temple. “I love you Rennie! I don’t think I’ve told you how amazing you are, and how you light up the room with your presence.” Now, he had two options at this moment - accept it and leave or help him take a seat and sober up a little. He went for the lather. Gently, he wrapped his wrists around the boy's arms and embraced him in a hug while he moved the chair for him to sit. 

“Right here buddy.” He helped him down as he watched the boy’s eyes roll back. “I’ll get you some water, stay here okay?” He got a groan as a response and left straight for the water station in the corner of the house. There was a full stack of red solo cups left and two litre bottles of cold water next to it. Renjun poured a generous amount for his close friend and made his way back to where Donghyuck was sitting. Only in front of him was no Donghyuck, just an empty chair staring back at him. 

“Great.” A sigh as he took a sip of water for himself. “Hey! Water boy!” A yell came from the other side of the courtyard, Renjun spat the water onto the floor. The shadowy figure from the darkness revealed him to be his ex, Lee Jeno. 

What they had wasn’t everyone’s favourite love, it was more of a rebound from another relationship he didn’t want to discuss. Lee Jeno could easily be compared to a greek god, structured muscles, defined cheekbones and the prettiest of eye smiles in the whole entire world - how it actually happened was a massive question to himself. 

“Renjun? Long time no see.” God, his breath was already stuck in the caverns of his throat. Somehow Lee Jeno had the ability to take his breath away and Renjun wasn’t always sure if that was a good thing or not. He took another sip from the cup and he sort of regretted it in the end. “You using that?” He was clearly pointing to the cup, idiot. The boy with water in his mouth shook his head and gave it straight to him. Without another word, he walked away. The water helping him suffocate his long lost feelings away. 

For the longest time during their short lived relationship, Renjun believed in a ‘no-strings allowed’ policy, allowing him to just be in a relationship with someone. He wanted to fill the lost void that had left him alone that one fated night. Although, he knew that for himself, being with someone without gaining feelings was merely impossible. He shoved those thoughts away so they’d never see the daylight and would often dream about how it’d be to love someone like Jeno. 

It was too bad he confessed and Renjun said no. That’s what he regrets the most using someone as loving as him for his own end to his sadness. And now at this party, those feelings were starting to resurface. The lights, the music and the people just grew too much for him, so he forced himself inside and up the staircase where he sat within a small reading nook. The window complimented by a small daybed with pillows of all shapes and sizes made his heart finally settle down. 

It wasn’t as if Renjun hated parties, he just hated that there was no one there for him. He’d spend most of the night alone hidden away in the bathroom in case Donghyuck would come looking. He knew he didn’t have to bother since practically everyone was caught up in their own thoughts and drunk antics. 

“If only I fell for you earlier, maybe I wouldn’t be as lonely.” A secret only between him and the night sky, a promise to never be broken. Sometimes he’d think of getting drunk and just kissing the nearest person next to him, but he couldn’t do that - it wasn’t him. As time flew by, he watched as the stars multiplied into small constellations. It calmed him down as the music turned louder. 

“Cutie, I didn’t know you were here?” And just like that, his breath choked up.  _ Cutie _ . God, he could die at the way that world rolled off his tongue.  _ Cutie _ . If only he had the courage to actually confess that he liked him.  _ Cutie _ . If only he wasn’t so caught up in his own thoughts. 

“Well, I’m here!” He sarcastically mumbled, not interested in the conversation. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I still have feelings for you?” Jeno chuckled, sensing the obvious tension in the room. Renjun froze in his tracks. “I heard you from the window. I guessed it was about me.” 

“Fuck me.” He turned around to see the boy’s tall shadow blocking the door.    
  


“Renjun, I’m sorry but n-” 

“Not like that idiot!” Embarrassed, he ran a hand through his messy locks. “I’m just shocked? That’s all.” Gaining up his courage, he pushed himself up from the daybed towards Jeno. “I guess you caught me.” 

“So, you’re admitting you still have feelings for me?” He pulled the boy in by his waist, hands interlocking at the arch of his back. Renjun let out a mini squeal, trying to break free from his hold. 

“Maybe, but this time. You’re not a rebound, okay? I was selfish and didn’t realise that you were an actual living human. I’m surprised that you are giving me another chance after I took advantage of you.” 

“I’ll always give a second chance to those who deserve it, and Renjun you really do deserve it.” He moved his palm to caress the boy’s check, gazing into his confused eyes. “Here’s to starting over?” Jeno leant his forehead against the others. 

“To start over.” Within a couple of seconds, the boy stole a quick peck from the boy’s plump lips. The rest of the night, hand in hand, Renjun and Jeno took care of their drunk friends together and never in that moment had Renjun felt happy to be looking at the boy with so much admiration. 

A chance is a risk, but a second chance can be given for a reset. It’s lucky to be given a reset, you can right the wrong you thought you’d never fix and sometimes, fixing it is better than leaving the harsh words and actions unspoken. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading <3 i love u!! 
> 
> i'm open to feedback and comments of all sorts! :)
> 
> [ the magical twitter! ](https://twitter.com/reniewrites)
> 
> [ the cc! ](https://curiouscat.me/reniewrites)


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